Present Situation

Whats going on? Everything's piling up, and it keeps on piling as bricks on back of an ass. Neither am I doing my project, nor am I enjoying the time because of huge workload in front of me... They say, fifth year is easy.. Someone who has conquered Everest will say, "It wasn't as tough as it seems..." I know it, Man.. If I try, I can do everything, but who the hell wants to try?
Now, I am even ashamed to ask something from lord.. haven't prayed for long.. Now, before I go and ask something, I remember the age old adage, "Dukh mein sumiran sab karein, Sukh mein kare na koi" It's not that I am feeling uncomfortable, I feel that it can be done.. at the same time it worries also.. The situation is actually inexpressible and I am just relaxing me by writing something here.. I have a desire to finish work also, but whenever I want to start, some part of brain pulls off..... no tension as such.. And I don't feel sleepy, or lazy.. I am quite active when I shift to any other work, newspaper reading or article writing, CAT preparation..
Doctors will term it as "Workophobia- fear of work".. May be.. But I dont have their fees as well, myself in debt :(.. Anyways, I am not the only one, I'm sure, who's in dilemma. Udham Singh said, "Who has understood life in this world?"

She's no more :((

To me, the word 'Dadi' was a synonym for many things, most important was saving me from mom's beatings. Children are very intelligent. After getting the concept, whenever mom was angry with me over anything, I knew where should I go? She used to make "Pudes" on Teej festival in the month of July, and carry them along from my native village Sankror to Bhiwani, 20 kms away, for us. I remember, most of them were either not fully cooked, or cooked more... Don't remember the taste, but saliva still comes in mouth even by their thought. I have never found any stories more fascinating than hers.

If I were some 10-12 years younger, Elder people would have told me, "Your Grandmother has gone to live with God now." And I would have been satisfied.... Why, the hell, I grew? Now this explanation don't suffice... I realise that I won't be able to hear "King and his 7 queens", "Two siblings with golden hairs" stories by Dadi.. I won't be able to feel her elderly presence, when I go home.. Though She'll no more be in this world as a human body, She'll always be there besides me, as long as my memories stay. May the soul rest in peace. Ameen.