Christian Wedding

Hey blog dude! Surprised by my frequent visit again?? Now, that's because of another experience which got added on last friday (December 5, 2008) - of attending Christian marriage for the first time.

In past 6-7 years since 2001, I attended only one wedding ceremony that happened to be of my elder sister. And in the last month - I have attended two weddings - both unique (Marathi wedding and this one), and also, couldn't pay due respect to other four invitations. Are more people marrying these days or people around me have reached marriageable age? God knows.

This is about the wedding ceremony of a colleague of mine, Mr. Aashish Phansopkar. I was never aware of he being a Christian - 1) because I never focus on which religion/ caste one belongs to.. (whatever is important is pretty clear, anyways) 2) Phansopkar (AR in the end) denotes marathi origin..... I am happy now that I know I was among the majority - not many knew this fact. Attending this was kind of mandatory for me because of so many reasons:
a) The person had invited personally.
b) The ceremony was at Bangalore only.
c) The marriage day was friday, and time was evening.

Almost entire office reached the venue. The ceremony was already on when we reached there. A person accompanied us to seats. At that time, it seemed to me like a prayer hall in church. I was completely new to this wedding atmosphere. Stage was set with flowers, some 5/6 people sitting on top of stage - I thought they were elder relatives of both the families. Mr. Aashish - the groom - was nowhere to be seen, although I could see the bride in a beautiful white attire that I had only seen in some english movies. A group were singing songs and almost everyone in the hall, with one or both hands upwards, were singing and dancing along with them. A projector with the lyrics of songs was also present as a hearing aid to people who couldn't follow the music. Focusing on lyrics made it clear that everyone was worshiping Lord. This was something different than what I had witnessed earlier. The music was on and on for a long time and all the songs were in praise of God (in this case Jesus Christ). The music was good - and I enjoyed the time. Finally, I could see the groom also - the view was blocked earlier by standing and dancing people.

Then came a person in a black suit, with a mike in hand, after musicians stopped playing and introduced people-on-stage to the audience. It became clear only at this point in time that they didn't belong to any of the two families which were joining - they were some senior people from Church. The same person asked one of them to say a few words. We were showered with verses from Bible related to how did God create earth, what was the purpose of creation, what are basic responsibilies, what should we be like, why eagle is the best bird and what not? Although whatever he was saying made sense, but it'd have probably been better in a philosophy class. Language also has different meanings for various individuals - He was asked to say a few words, but what does few mean? The person in black coat should have clarified this earlier. It was too late now. I was more worried by the fact that there were 5 more people on stage with him.

As soon as second person was invited and he also started with verses in Hebrew/Latin and all the languages unknown to me - I was confident that I'll take a degree on the subject today. But he disappointed - he left the topic much earlier than my expectations and started formal ceremony.

"Mr. Aashish, Come to the stage," he announced. Groom followed the instructions.
"Now, I request Mr X (bride's father) to accompany the bride on stage and hand her over to Mr. Aashish." and the instructions were obeyed.
Then there were some basic vows, from each of the bride's and groom's side along with the ring ceremony.
"Now, with the grace of Jesus, and in presence of so many of witnesses, I declare you the husband and wife." I could hear sound of claps everywhere.
"Now, Mr. Aashish will kiss the bride - photographers be ready, these incidents don't come often." Again, his instructions were followed.

He must be a big man - everyone was obeying him. After officially getting declared husband and wife, the couple came down the stage and went somewhere outside. (I am yet to find out what was the ritual behind this - guess they went to church for prayers.) Till the time they came back, guests had started their dinner. And the food was pretty good.

With everyone satiated fully, now was the time for some music again. Guests were again in the hall, and when we reached there, the couple was on stage and groom was singing a song for the bride. Mr. Ashish is a good singer- I must say. The bride also reciprocated the gesture with a song from her side. The couple shared the first sweet - a cake - and then a toast was raised in their honor. Wine and cake were distributed among guests.

Then came the fun part - Younger sister of the bride, and the best friend of groom shared some funny stories about the couple. (they were funny - at least in parts.) And then, they also sang a song for the couple. The other important announcement was that these two were also going to marry after 10 days. Good going guys!!

Post-this was a formal thanks-giving ceremony by the groom. And then, the couple took their seats on stage with guests allowed to go on-stage to wish them a very happy married life ahead. We went on-stage as a group representing Capital One - blessed the couple with everyone's wishes. I am becoming more and more experienced day by day.

Blog! the next big marriage I am planning to attend is in February - and it'll be a Gujju wedding. Get ready for another entry.

Bangalore to Kolhapur to attend a Marathi Wedding: An experience

Season of marriages is at its peak. Without paying heed to married couples' suggestions, I can see so many youngsters tying the knot, and can foresee them providing suggestions few years down the line, absolutely free of cost :P.

I always like to see, experience different customs, rituals. Recently, I got an invitation for a marathi wedding, of a college friend. I was excited to attend this - 1) because I had never attended any marathi wedding, and 2) as it seemed feasible to attend, it was on a Sunday. Apart from just attending the marriage, there were some additional benefits. The marriage was in Kolhapur, where another school friend of mine, Mr. Manoj Dhawan, stays. I could meet him, and various other college mates who were supposed to come - attend the function.

Normally, I plan every trip I undertake properly. This was an expection. I was not sure whether I was going or not, till around 4-5 hours before I left. The journey from Bangalore to Kolhapur (by bus) is around 10-12 hours. I booked a seat in a sleeper bus in which some other friends of mine were traveling. It was supposed to leave Bangalore at 1930 hours. I left office at 1730 assuming two hours to be ample time to reach the station. No-one has ever overtaken destiny, how could I? And, I got stuck in lovely bangalore traffic. Only those who have been here can understand what I am talking about. I was around 4-5 kms away from the stop at 1930, and I gave a call to the booking center to know the whereabouts of bus. "Saaarrrr!!, 7:30 bus!!! oh that has just left," I got to hear this. I enquired about the next sleeper bus which was at 9 pm. My two conditions for the seat were: 1) It should be an upper berth. 2) It shouldn't be the last one. I got second last upper berth... It was already 9:30 pm and bus was no where to be seen. The waiting time was pretty bad. But as sage Udham Singh puts it, "Every bad thing in the universe has an end", wait was over at 10 pm.

As soon as I took my seat and started calling some friends, the conductor came and said, "Saar! this is not your seat."
"Boss! I have got the ticket. It says- U34."
"Pleeasssee Saar! It's not your seat. Pleeeasssee get down. Yours is L-36."
(Now, what he was offering me was the last seat, and that too lower - violating both my clearly laid out conditions. Also, the person was not willing to listen."
After some small arguments (length increased linearly later), I said,
"Boss! either give me this seat, or clearly say and write on the ticket - this ticket is not valid, so that, I can go have a chat with the booking person."
Along with my final verdict, I called the person who booked it, and made him have a chat with the conductor. The chat started with some 4-5 high tech abuses. It was all in Kannada that I didn't understand, but from whatever I understood, the conductor was having a discussion related to mother, sister of the booking person. Finally, I retained my seat.

The journey was fine - just that after starting at 1030 pm, it was close to Kolhapur at 1230 pm the next day, taking 14 hours. Also, it didn't go to kolhapur also. They dropped all kolhapur passengers at some place closeby. I didn't have time and energy again to argue with them plus they had left me at a bus-station wherefrom I got a direct bus to Kolhapur.

At bus-stand, I saw something unusual. Crowd formed a queue in front of bus and conductor was giving tickets along with seat numbers and no-one was violating the discpline. I was extremely happy to see this. I too merged in the queue. But alas! Just when I was third in queue, the bus became full and left. I was expecting similar discipline for next bus. But Good things also do not last for long. Next bus came in another two minutes and I could see everything happening as I had seen in rest of India. People were rushing towards the door, many of them threw some material inside and on whichever seat it fell, those seats were booked for the particular VIPs. Finally, I got inside the bus with two seats remaining where no-one was there but a polythene bag was sitting. When I asked the person on next seat, whose is this bag?, I could see a young lad in mid-twenties waiving his hand from window outside - saying they are already booked. Although this annoyed me, but I thought as there are two seats, I can still take one. The person crossed all the limits when he said from outside, could you take the next bus since there is someone with him and he has booked two seats. "Awesome!!!" - I said to myself and sat on the seat without replying anything. The person came inside, took his polythene bag and left without saying anything. Although there were glimpses of discipline earlier, but I could see real indian discipline later - what I had seen at many places.

Finally, I reached Kolhapur on saturday 2 pm, met my friend. In the evening, we went to Panhala - a fort around 20 kms away from Kolhapur. This fort was ruled by Chhatrapati Shivaji and later his descendents. Although we couldn't enjoy the scenic beauty much as it was already dim when we reached there, but the journey was good with greenery both sides. We could smell jaggery-in-making from sugarcane at every 2 kms. I bought 2 kgs also as a sample. Came back, booked bus for the next day return (this time, AC-volvo.. Sleeper was out of the question anyways)

Sunday morning was the wedding time. Reached there at around 1030 am. It was in a wedding hall, 3rd floor. Ground floor was a shopping mall, first floor another wedding hall, and second floor, eating place for guests attending marriage at floor 1) Third floor was again a wedding hall and the top floor was an eating place for the guests at floor 3. What an optimum use of space?

When I reached there, I could see bride and groom on stage with garlands on - people flocking on stage to wish them a happy married life (and/or getting video-taped and photographed.) Both of them were smiling (which looked artificial at times). This is understandable also as how can one keep on listening to same statement when it's too mechanical a process and repetitive too. One has to bear the weight of a smile always as some two three photographers are attentive enough to catch something unusual. Along with this, due to electronic prices going down day by day, every other person has got a digital camera, video camera and one can never be sure who's video-taping and from where? :P I too followed the crowd, wished the couple a great life ahead, got photographed :)

And then came food. This was in a typical marathi-thali style. Everyone sat in a line and dishes were served quickly, one by one person to the entire queue. In 20-25 minutes, around 150 people had lunch. This all ended at 1230 pm. That's quick. No?

This was all for an outsider, or a normal guest. Now, remaining ceremony was a very private affair, and most of the local guests seemed to have gone back. I met a lot of my friends from IIT, visited Mahalakshmi temple at Kolhapur, Shahuji Maharaj fort. I had return journey scheduled at 9 pm, and again the bus started at 10 pm. The return journey was smooth and timings were good. I was at bangalore at 830 am and was working in office the same day at 11 am.

Nothing had changed anywhere, except that I had an experience of attending a Marathi wedding. This was a quick, time effective, cost effective marriage, without so-much fuss which is normally associated with north-indian marriages. Overall - a nice experience.